Gulf Ridge Park Baptist Church
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Your Question # 24
[#24] Does the biblical definition of spousal abuse line up with the worldly definition? By that I mean is financial abuse, emotional abuse, manipulative tactics like gaslighting, marital rape and sexual coercion within a marriage considered abuse in God's eyes?
[Note: Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, hoping to make them question their own memory, perception, and sanity.]
Thank you for your question. I haven't seen a passage that specifically defines 'spousal abuse', if I am reading your question correctly. However, there is plenty of scripture that speaks to treating our spouse with dignity and respect that would prevent ANY sort of abuse.
Abuse in any form is displeasing to the Lord. Ephesians 5:25-32 speaks for the husband to love his wife, and the example of this is seen: 'as Christ loved the church". The Church is His bride. Jesus gave Himself for the church, even unto death. So should a man love his wife....see below
1. He should provide for her. Ensuring that to the best of his ability her needs are met to include financial, physical and emotional.
2. He should protect her. If he is doing all he can to protect her physically, emotionally, and financially, it would leave no room for abuse of any sort.
3. He should LOVE her. Love is: Kind, Considerate, Thoughtful, Giving, Forgiving, Supportive, it is not Jealous, does not seek it's own, but is seeking to meet the needs of the other.
The best definition I ever found for love is this: "It sees the need in others and seeks to fulfill it." That's what God did for us. Man did not seek nor want God, but He saw that our greatest need was/is to know Him. So God, sent His Son Jesus (John 3:16) for us. The Bible also says: "The Son of Man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." Luke 19:10
All that you asked about in your question would be the exact opposite of Godly, caring, nurturing love that we should show our spouse.
The bottom line is YES, all you questioned would be considered abuse in God's eyes!
You did not say whether you are husband or wife. May I say, IF you are a wife, and are going through some type of abuse, I encourage you not to keep silent. Seek out professional counseling either through a licensed marriage counselor, or your Pastor. It can be physically or emotionally dangerous for a person to endure abuse for any length of time. If there are children, it also sends a powerful message to them as well.
I will pray if you are a believer, that you will seek God's grace and presence in this, and if you haven't made a decision for Christ, I ask you to please pause right now and ask the Lord Jesus to forgive your sins and come into your life as your Lord and Savior. He loves you and will save you immediately. Romans 10:13.
May God richly bless. I know my answer was short, but I pray to the point.